It has begun. School anxiety. Not for Cate, though, for me.
I had a dream last night about her first day of school, and I was terrified, and things were in chaos. It was raining, Cate couldn’t find her clothes, she refused to get dressed, and only wanted to play with Meg and Blythe, we didn’t know which class to go to, and we didn’t know what time school started.
I know all those things are not going to happen, but it feels overwhelming sometimes thinking about. I’ve never had a kid in school before. I never thought I’d have to send Cate to her first day without Chris.
I’ll feel better when I’m prepared a bit more. I’ve gotten her backpack, lunchbox, and a handful of school supplies. I’ll have to wait until we get back to Japan to get the rest. She has to have a TB test before she can start, and Cate is needle-phobic, so I’m sure that’s part of my anxiety as well. I hate having to go anywhere involving a needle with her (even if it’s not to be used on her, as a vet visit recently proved.)
I think I’m noticing a theme here. Like with the dentist visit, I’m just anxious. There is a lot to be done about going home and before Chris comes home, and as usual, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I know I shouldn’t be; I’ve got plenty of time, and I’m a planner (an over planner, really).
Just got to keep calm. And have faith that Cate’s first day will be easy and fine.