This last month has just been so…I don’t even know.
I feel like I’m treading water until things feel completely normal again. I don’t know that they ever really will be.
Losing the baby has been so difficult. While I don’t feel crippled by my grief as I did in the first few days, I’m understandably upset. I can’t stop thinking about what could have been.
I see someone pregnant and think, “My baby would have been 2 months younger than hers.”
I think a lot about what it would be like to be pregnant and feel secure about it. I’ll never have the feeling like everything is going turn out well again. I hate that this puts a limit on how much happiness I’ll be able to feel next time.
I wanted this baby so much and now it’s gone. No reason. Just gone.