Does anyone else have that family member(s) to whom you’ll never be good enough?

My grandparents, for as much as I love them, can sure make me wish sometimes that I didn’t know them. To my grandparents:

  • I’m fat.
  • I’m lazy.
  • I’m dumb.
  • I’m wasteful.
  • My politics are wrong.
  • My children are rude.
  • My children aren’t as smart, or developing as quickly, as anyone else’s children they know.
  • I dress horribly.
  • I shouldn’t be staying at home with the girls, I should send them to daycare and work outside the home myself.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I get comments about these and other things constantly from them, and it’s so frustrating.

I don’t get how one can indulge the urge to be mean just for the sake of it. I can always find a reason to brush their comments aside, but as time passes, it’s getting harder; they’re becoming more critical. I’m frustrated because I know that they’re old, and no amount fighting or conversation is going to change their behavior.

I’m forced to either accept it and love them and try to be the best granddaughter I can be, or to not accept it, which would essentially mean cutting ties with them.

I hate being stuck in this position. Why can’t they realize how hurtful their disapproval is to me and my family?

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3 Responses to worth

  1. Ms. W says:

    Of course, you don’t want to cut ties with them… but, I can see how hurtful their words are to you.

    I say, just toss it up to old age senility and try not to let it get your down.

    I think older folks feel they have earned the right to say what’s on their mind – even the hurtful stuff… However, that doesn’t make it right.

    As long as your husband loves you and your kids adore you… I know you’ll be okay. They are the most important people in your life now… not your grandparents.

  2. cassandrasaganwebb. says:

    I couldn’t have said it better than ms. w.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Don’t overlook all the wonderful things they have brought to your life. The sacrafices they have made they have helped form the person your are today. When you say worth, think of all the special things they did in the past that helped you feel your worth, the boxes, hand made gowns, selling land to see you. They may be grouchy now – but the love is still there. Yes – they can be hurtful and judgemental – but they love you dearly. Just be thankful for the five hour drive- mine is five minutes!!!


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