what you don’t know

Yesterday I found out that Meg’s pediatrician tried to commit suicide.

We haven’t been able to get an appointment with him for a couple of months. One time I was told that he had a family emergency, and another time, I was told he’d gotten sick. Yesterday, another person had the last piece of the puzzle and I finally know why he disappeared from the practice.

I didn’t know him other than the couple of times Meg saw him, but I really liked him, and felt instantly comfortable with him. He has a child a little older than Cate and a baby two weeks older than Meg, so I found it really easy to relate to him. Though I didn’t know him well, I’m so saddened by this information, and have had trouble thinking of much else since I found out.

I realize that you can never really tell what’s going on with a person, and I’m no different.

A couple of months back, I wrote this post. After writing it and doing some reflection, I realized that I had a problem, and I needed to get help.

I was depressed.

I talked to Chris, and he made an appointment with my doctor the next day. After discussing the situation, the doctor agreed that it was depression, and we discussed my options. I opted to try medication.

That decision was incredibly difficult for me. I didn’t want to be one of “those people.” I wanted to be the Mom that had everything together. I didn’t want to admit I had a problem I couldn’t handle on my own. I still feel a little strange about it sometimes, but you know what? The medication is working.

My life has seemed so much sunnier; I’m not having emotional outbursts anymore. I can handle stress in a healthy way. Our whole family has seemed to improve as I have, and I’m now very glad I sought out some help.

I guess the situation with Meg’s doctor really makes me reflect on all of this. Even those that seem to have everything together can have problems that are not apparent. I’m so sad for the doctor and his family; I hope he is receiving the care he needs, and that he’s able to work through whatever the issues are.

I also hope that I only continue to improve. I’ve gotten such great support from those around me, and I couldn’t have gotten through much of this without their encouragement.

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3 Responses to what you don’t know

  1. cassandrasaganwebb. says:

    Wow, Erica. You’re right — we just assume that everyone has it all together. Thanks for sharing this on your blog.

  2. Something's Gotta Give says:

    Thank you for sharing that. It’s so hard for a lot of us, men and women both, to admit when we need help, but it’s so important. I’m so glad you got the help you needed, and that the medication is working. I truly think it’s the strongest people who can admit when they need help and can’t do it all on their own-it’s much harder to admit that than not.

  3. Something's Gotta Give says:

    Thank you for sharing that. It’s so hard for a lot of us, men and women both, to admit when we need help, but it’s so important. I’m so glad you got the help you needed, and that the medication is working. I truly think it’s the strongest people who can admit when they need help and can’t do it all on their own-it’s much harder to admit that than not.

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